I have come to realize that another benefit has come along with her new sleeping schedule. when I am nursing her to sleep and just lying next to her, i find this is really the only time I can shut my brain off. i am sure we all feel this and go through the same difficulty trying to calm down and relax and simply slow down. i guess i feel i have been up against a very resistant force. What encourages me to always try is that I don't want to rush through anything and miss it. She is growing so fast that i try to suck it all in to this special super memory place. but still it all blows away as quickly as hair is picked up in the wind.

there are these weird times i am sure all parents deal with, mine are always at nap times, were you have to decide to set your baby down and do something, rush off somewhere to run errands, or just be and sit with baby. i always try to balance out the time to get stuff done with allowing myself to endulge and just silently breath her in holding her.

i am grateful that at bedtime i can smush everything in my head into a tiny jar and put it on the mantel for a while. my brain easily clicks back on but at least for these moments when our daughter is trying to rest and fall asleep i can be all with her.