We had our little girl

Sati Vera Jackson

on January 4th. Yup for those of you who remember, the same day as my birthday. Lindsey, my twin, and Sati and I will be able to celebrate every this day together.

this is how it went down....

saturday we went to the hospital at 1pm to have a non-stress test. Since the doctors were watching my blood pressure they had wanted us to come in again to make sure baby was doing okay. In previous tests i had many contractions they could see and she was kicking me frequently. However this day, there was nothing so they ordered blood tests and an ultrasound. But still they found that nothing was wrong. So, at 7pm they decided to admit us for 24 observation and more tests. When we got set up in our room and the nurse was checking everything, i mentioned that I was having this cramping in my lower stomach. It felt different so i mentioned it, but i wasn't sure that anything was a big deal. overtime this pain moved into my back and started happening every 5 minutes.

The nurse still not sure what I was feeling, continued to just watch me, throughout the whole night i spent clinching the bed and moving about the room trying to get through the pain that came through my back in waves. at 3 am we called mom and said that we may be in labor, because I wasn't sure what else this could be, so she started to drive down. at 5 am the doctors admitted that I was in active labor. Duh! i was saying in my head. seriously what else could it have been. Christian spent the night helping me move, helping me concentrate on getting through each contraction, tolerating me when no matter where he put his hand it had to be corrected.

I didn't feel anything but back pain. I couldn't feel anything happening in my stomach, or lower belly, or pelvic area. It was just this incredible pain crashing through my lower back. However she wasn't in the wrong position. I didn't know that back labor could occur even when the baby is traveling down the channel in the proper position.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to apply the relaxing techniques we had learned in bradley classes, the back pain had my whole body pinched up tight. however what helped was just getting through one at a time, and low moaning noises, and then moving, the pain was much worse on my back, or in bed. something the nurses were also hassling me about.

but, anyways mom came in, during a contraction hoped right in to hold my hand and bare my strength. right during this nurse's pitch for pain meds too. i let this woman continue her speech because these people obviously just didn't understand and they weren't going to quit. So every time they came in to the room throughout the night, they asked "is it intolerable yet" here i am sweating with pain. i say "well, yes.... but I am managing it, just one at a time" it was like they were saying in there heads "why is she doing this" I felt like such an inconvenience for them. Just because I was doing it differently.

doctor came in, told me that I had to get back in to bed and that i could be stressing the baby. These are the things they say in order to manipulate you into doing what is easiest for them. so anyways she said if i wouldn't sit still they would have to put me on magnesium sulfate to control my blood pressure. and actually they are just going, they have reached that point.

Doctor checked me, i had some dilating to go, and she didn't think my bones were opening enough, she let things progress for a little while, then she wanted to break the bag of waters, after which i threw up. I was so scared and they had done it all so fast. they had brought the table over which before i saw had a bunch of "tools" on and in my head I was like keep that thing away from me. However they brought that over, told me they were going to break the water bag, and i was just so scared, was it going to hurt what it she pokes something else and cuts me. Anyways they didn't give me time to calm down and so it all flowed out and i had to barf.

Apparently it was a good thing they pop the waters, we found out that baby had gone to the bathroom in me, and they meant they had to get her out now. Doctor had checked everything again, I was completely dilated and fully opened in that second. i guess the doctor was shocked. so she said we are going to start pushing.

this was one of the moments were i had a full realization of what was happening. "i have to get this baby out" ....... "how......." they make me lie down on my back and pull up my legs and yell to push. I tried this for several contractions. and couldn't do it, i begged the doc to let me move into another position. I just couldn't breath with the weight of baby on my stomach. and the back pain cursing through me.

so they roll me over to my side, which was barely better, and i curl up like a fetus myself to push her out. honestly i couldn't feel anything but the pain in my back. It was the hardest pushing i can imagine, i gave it all my strength, and for everything that was happening what was one of the worst points was not being able to breath. the doc. kept insisting that as i break " 1,2,3 come back and push" but her seconds were enough, i needed like 3 more seconds to get any oxygen into my system. i tried but i thought i was going to pass out, they put an oxygen mask on me that didn't help. i was real scared at this moment because we had gotten this far and now i couldn't breath to finish it.

I don't know how i continued but we got further along and i just kept pushing. unfortunately i wasn't able to feel the changing and birthing happening because the back pain was too much and I couldn't feel anything else. all i could distinguish was crowning. and while that was happening all I was thinking was " i hope what I was feeling was actually happening" versus her not being as far down as it felt.

I got her head out, the ordered me to stop pushing, which is impossible, if you just got her head out, but somehow again i stopped, the cord was wrapped tight around her neck. they had to cut it then, because there was no slack for them to unwrap it from her neck. then she just slipped out.

they took her away right away. i didn't even get to see her, begin breastfeeding, or touch her,

they took her to the baby table to get all the mec out, the excretion she had while still in my stomach. i guess they held off on her breathing because they needed to get that stuff out first, then we heard her....

waves of happiness coursed through us, Christian was balling, i was coming down from the pain and so happy that she was just here,

Christian brought her over to me and we kissed our little girl and introduced her to the room.

no one understood us when we told them her name

this is Sati Vera Jackson's story in to this world.

they took her to the nursery they needed to work on her to make sure she was okay. we waited about an hour and a half. i was so happy to have the labor finished. it is one thing to be excited to be having a child, but then something completely else to understand that this life has to come out of your body somehow.

my body was in shock and i was shaking uncontrollably for like an hour. i was so happy though and comfortable, all the pain melted away, they piled blankets on me and my body warmed. it was like how my bradley teacher said it was. labor pain is different while you are not in contractions the pain melts away and you are able to rest and recover. it isn't the same pain that can happen in accidents or other situations.

this is her beginning....

we went through a bit to get her home, but finally we are completely in the clear and have our baby girl at home, getting used to her brothers. who are realizing that she is something with a life. learning breastfeeding has been fun, at first it was frustrating but now things are better and she and I have a system.

Daddy has been working so hard, helping me in the during the night time feedings, still helping make dinner, and cleaning, and all this after coming home from a full day of work.

we will keep posting her updates on our blogs so be watching out... but also know that we have a photo site that has many pictures on it. So go there too....

flickr.com/photos/christiankatie

also don't forget about Christian's blog

designerdad.blogspot.com